


Divorced.

by a19YearOldTryingHerBest



Category: Barry (TV 2018), Bill Hader - Fandom, Saturday Night Live RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt, Implied Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:21:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21712900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a19YearOldTryingHerBest/pseuds/a19YearOldTryingHerBest
Summary: Bill is worried about Jen’s changed way of living and tries to check on her.
Relationships: Bill Hader & Reader, Bill Hader & You, Bill Hader / OFC, Bill Hader / Reader, Bill Hader/Original Female Character(s), Bill Hader/You
Kudos: 11





	Divorced.

When she stepped out of the bathroom she saw Bill standing awkwardly in her living-room, observing his surroundings, taking notice of the empty alcohol bottles laying around — What are you doing here?

He looked at her, worrisome — The guy who was leaving let me in. — his eyes darted between different things on her. Her hair was different but he knew that when he read about how she was **“** rocking a new bold look **”** , and, contrary to what those magazines described as **“** fit **”** , she was way too skinny to a point where it seemed -and was- unhealthy, right where her t-shirt let her skin show there were a few dark and fresh hickeys on her neck and her bottom lip was healing from a cut that made him wonder if it was from a fall, a fight or someone had made it to her during sex, and that last thought turned his stomach.

He thought of the guy who was leaving when he knocked on the door, he looked -and talked- like a duchebag and Bill noted it even if he hated to assume things on appearances. He thought on the way the guy went pale when he opened the door to find him, thinking Bill was Jennifer’s boyfriend, apologizing to him as he scrambled to leave because, given the obvious post hookup situation and his feelings towards her, Bill didn’t give him the friendliest look.

But he hadn’t really thought about it -about that guy touching Jen, about his lips on her, about that guy making her moan- and at that moment he did, more graphically because he had evidence of what he had done, what parts of her body he marked, and he felt his blood burn for a moment, right before it stopped and his heart sunk in his chest, remembering he didn’t have the right to be jealous, he wasn’t anything of her.

— What do you want? — she said, snapping him back to reality. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, a defensive stance that was contradicted a defiant look on her eyes and the defeat on her voice. Bill was put aback by it, feeling somewhat hurted by her tone.

— I just wanted to check on you. — he felt like an idiot as he said it. **“** Check on her **”**. Who was he to **“** check on her **”**? Surely, a little less than six months ago he would’ve said her friend, her best friend even, without hesitation, but now he felt out of place. He didn’t really knew how he felt so out of place, she had said little less than ten words and he already felt rejected; it was probably the way she was looking at him, like if she was already fed up with him even if it hadn’t even been a full minute since he arrived.

— Right. — she huffed, letting her arms fall to her side as she moved to the desk where a small pile of scripts laid, one open in the middle with some lines highlighted — As you can see, I’m fine. You can go now. — she took her place in front of the desk, trying to ignore him as she grabbed the highlighted script and the glass of scotch that was left from the night before — You can let your conscience rest. — she muttered, taking a sip of her drink and moving towards the couch.

— You’re not fine. — he declared and she rolled her eyes, leaving stopping midway to the couch, her mindset moving towards a defensive position.

— Who the he-!

— You’re not fine. — he cut her off before she could scream at him — This isn’t fine. You’re drinking at eleven in the morning, that doesn’t say fine.

— Fuck you. — she growled, no longer concerned on keeping her cool — I’m doing just fine. I got a movie to film and a fucking Golden Globe for my show, so fuck you!

He flinched at her harsh tone but talked softly anyway — That doesn’t mean you’re fine.

— Well, it fucking does to me! — she stood up looking at him, anger was now prominent in her eyes but her the defeat voice had morphed into pain.

They stayed in silence and he looked to the floor and breathed out a sight. She wished he would go, and he knew that, but he wouldn’t do it just yet — I divorced Maggie. — he said with defeat, hoping it would make a difference but knowing it probably wouldn’t

— What? — she said, her voice softening from anger to confusion.

— Me and Maggie, we got a divorce. — she set down her drink.

— Why? — she fought back the urge to go near him, to console him. Almost simultaneously she felt like an idiot for still having that response.

— Because you were right. We were staying together for the kids; that wasn’t good for anybody, it only hurted. — he looked at her — It even hurted you.

She shrunk herself, she didn’t notice but he did — What do you mean?

— Don’t- — he sighted, the knot in the middle of his chest tightening by the second — Don’t do that. — he took a few hesitant steps towards her — You kissed me. I couldn’t- — he looked at her somewhat ashamed and regretful, the light teal blue eyes that had always been her weakness piercing her soul with her most recent memory of him — And now you’re hurt.

She snapped a murderous look at him, like if he had accused of some crime she didn’t commit. He was right, she was hurted, but it wasn’t because of that, not really — Who the fuck do you think you are? — her voice was low, cold and threatening; it made him feel like if there was a blade pressing down on his throat — I’m not a lovesick teen that can’t handle rejection. I got hurted because you were supposed to be my best friend and you left me. — repudiation, anger and pain was all she could express and it was most of what she was feeling, her hands were turned into fits and Bill took notice of that — You just pushed me away and pretended like I never fucking existed. I needed my friend not whoever the fuck you are.

It burned, his chest burned with pain. All he could do was think was that he hurted her, he let her down. He understood that all the pain he put her through was transformed into anger towards him, and it was fair. He knew it was on him and there was nothing to do about it. It was the most bitter feeling he ever felt.

It was over, the most beautiful thing he had ever had and all it could’ve transformed to was ruined because of him.

— I know there’s no going back now but I want you to know why I- — he struggled a bit but took a deep breath and continued with it — I pushed you away. — she throw him a deadly glare but let him say it, because deep down she knew she needed to hear it, she wanted to hear it — I am in love with you. — he looked at her and saw her frown and clench her jaw, her face showed pain and some sort of disgust, like if his words was like rubbing alcohol on a open wound, and maybe it was — I was trying to stay with Maggie but I couldn’t do that if I knew you felt the same, if I could see you every day, if I could- kiss you, and- love you. — he twitched his mouth downwards and pressed his lips together.

— You can’t say that. — she cried out, her voice shaking and her eyes tearful. She shifted her weight onto her other leg, crossing her arms in the process. She pressed her lips and swallowed as if she had eaten something bitter — You can’t just tell me you love me and expect me to trust you again. No. Fuck you. I can’t- — she closed her eyes for a moment, trying to calm down, accidentally letting more tears fall down her cheeks — I need you to go. — her eyes were still closed but she could feel the pained look Bill was caring, she felt him sink on his spot and walk towards the door.

He stopped before opening it and looked at her as she opened her eyes. They stayed like that, in silence, looking at the other’s pained gaze until he could get the words out — I love you. — he said and opened the door. And, as he stepped outside and closed the door, he thought he heard an _**“** I love you, too **”**_ but maybe he was wrong.


End file.
